This release marks the first studio music from one of the members of Linkin Park since the passing of Chester last July. It was a bit of a surprise - Mike announced the release the night before he posted the songs (which you can see his homemade videos for here, and I highly recommend you do). There's three songs, so it's a fairly short release, but these songs pack a suitcase full of emotions in the time they've got.
The music itself is really interesting, and I would have been impressed with the release just for that. Mike discussed that he did everything on these songs himself, and it shows his incredible skill and talents besides just being "that guy that raps in Linkin Park". The production value and variety of sounds and vibes he introduces in just three songs is more than I've heard from some artists in their entire discography.
"Place to Start" has a more pop feeling, with a bit of hip-hop influence in the beat. It's the softest of the three tracks, with Mike showing his ability to create really pretty and vulnerable melodies; however, he also manages to show how he can switch from flowing to short and urgent vocals and create a big contrast within a minute and thirty seconds of music. The track ends with some voicemails, which it would seem that Mike received shortly after Chester passed from friends. It ties in the lyrical content (which I'll discuss in a bit) to his real experiences and allows the listener a closer look into his personal life.
"Over Again" starts with a synth line that's interrupted by a car alarm going off in the background and Mike saying "Come on!" (on Twitter, he discussed that the alarm went off while he was trying to record and he decided to use it on the track). This song is a mix of pop and hip-hop sounds, with the chorus leaning more towards the former and the verses showing some of Mike's rap skills. There's a lot of layers to the instrumental for this song, slight synth lines that build and bounce off each other with a beat that sounds a bit retro and compressed. It definitely sounds like something you would hear on the radio (and I really hope that ends up being the case).
"Watching As I Fall" is the most gritty and dark, sonically, of the three tracks. The synths and beats are almost harsh in their tone, which (again) fits with the lyrical content of the track. The intro features a moment where the wobble/swelling synth line meets scratching reminiscent of Mr. Hahn in Linkin Park's beginning days. It's the fastest of the songs, the most in-your-face sounding of the three, and also balances the pop and hip-hop influences.
Now, while those aspects are cool to talk about, what's really the most interesting and moving part of these songs is the lyrical content. As the release is called Post Traumatic, its very personal and raw, revealing some of the different ways in which Mike has been processing Chester being gone. "Place to Start" shows Mike's fear of what's supposed to happen next, how he's supposed to move on and find a way to pick up the pieces from the loss he's experienced. "I don't wanna know the end, all I want is a place to start" sums up that notion pretty well. "Over Again" utilizes a seemingly simple hook:
"Sometimes, sometimes you don't say goodbye once
You say goodbye over and over and over again
Over and over and over again"
and while normally I'm not a fan of repeating a single phrase for a hook, this one works in that the notion of having to say goodbye to someone repeatedly is physically shown in the repetition of the line. The verses for this song, as Mike mentioned on Twitter, were written the day of and the day after the memorial show Linkin Park played at the Hollywood Bowl back in October. It reveals the struggle that he was dealing with, between feelings of grief at unexpected times:
"Can't remember if I've cancelled any show
But I think about what I'm supposed to do and I don't know
Cause I think about not doing it the same way as before
And it makes me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor"
or moments of dealing with insensitive people who ask questions without really thinking about it:
"And everybody that I talk to is like, “wow
Must be really hard to figure what to do now”
Well thank you genius, you think it'll be a challenge
Only my life's work hanging in the fucking balance".
Mike wasn't afraid to hold back and let all his emotions loose in these songs, including anger, which wasn't really something we saw a lot of through social media. Speaking of social media, that brings us to the lyrical content of "Watching As I Fall". This song discusses having to deal with all these emotions that come with the lose of a loved one while being in the public eye:
"Thinking I'm okay, but they're saying otherwise
Tell me how I look but can't look me in the eyes
Watching as I say this and then I do that"
or part of the hook:
"They're watching as I fall, they're staring as I go
I gave until my soul hurt, and never told them so".
This EP was a hard listen for some people. I know the first couple times I played it through, I began feeling the sense of lose I felt six months ago, and it was difficult to make it through. But, it was incredibly healing to hear these songs, to hear from someone who was much, much closer to Chester than I or most people ever were, and know that it's okay that the grief hasn't left yet. That it's okay to still grapple with his lose. However, Mike also showed us that it's also about looking forward; about learning to live with the emotions and to not let yourself get lost in them and stuck in a dark place. During the Twitter Q&A Mike did, he mentioned that Linkin Park was not done, and that him and the other band members were working towards what the group will be without Chester. He also mentioned there might be more songs from him; he released these ones because they were finished and he wanted to share them as they came, not waiting for one big release. Either way, I'm very grateful for the release; Mike has been and is one of my favorite songwriters, and it makes me happy to know he is able to come back to what he loves, music, and is able to use it to move towards healing and closure. Chester would be so incredibly proud, and honored of the way his friend and brother continues to celebrate him.
Rating: 5/5
Recommended: The Whole Thing
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