My roommate from freshman year of college, Josh, was really into him, and shared almost all of his music with me. I really enjoyed it, especially "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room", but didn't follow his career very closely - only listening to new songs if I happened upon them.
It was when I started following him on social media that I really began to develop my interest in him - not only as a musician, but as a person. It's hard to gauge a person through social media, especially a celebrity figure, but throughout my time watching Mayer from afar, I feel a deep sense of honesty and vulnerability from his posts (along with a fantastic sense of humor). The point where it really hit me was when Mac Miller passed - even though Mayer didn't know him that well, he shared some of their time together and the sense of loss he felt within about his passing. This was something I very much related to - not that I knew Mac Miller, but that I felt like I was just starting to get to know him as a musician, as an artist, and then he was gone.
Right before he released "I Guess I Just Feel Like", Mayer posted a picture of himself with a guitar/in the process of recording, and a bit of an explanation about the process behind the song. That was the moment where I knew this song was going to be something special. He talked about how he had been struggling with writing new songs in August & September of last year, and how after trying and failing to write songs in a specific way, he took it back to the basics in October and stopped trying to make something that wasn't going to happen - and "I Guess I Just Feels Like" was born.
The song itself is a very stripped down, almost country-sounding tune, primarily featuring vocals and acoustic guitar with later additions of drums and a fitting solo from Mayer himself. The vulnerability is heavy from the start, especially in the lyrics, and that's what has captured me with each and every listen. There's a definite sense of losing innocence, of this struggling between the desired, idealized world, and the one that we currently live in. Of having hope, yet struggling with loss and depression and negativity. It's hard to pinpoint these ideas to specific lines, so I copied all the lyrics below. I've said a little about them, but they truly speak for themselves:
(Verse 1)
"I guess I just feel like
I guess I just feel like
Nobody's honest, nobody's true
Everyone's lyin' to make it on through
I guess I just feel like I'm the same way too
(Verse 2)
I guess I just feel like good things are gone
And the weight of my worries is too much to take on
I think I remember the dream that I had
That love's gonna save us from a world that's gone mad
I guess I just feel like
What happened to that?
(Verse 3)
I guess I just feel like the joke's gettin' old
And the future is fading and the past is on hold
But I know that I'm open and I know that I'm free
And I'll always let hope in wherever I'll be
And if I go blind, I'd still find my way
I guess I just felt like givin' up today"
This doesn't feel like a song that's written to make money. It's purpose isn't to be this smash hit, to have a ton of airtime on the radio or be an internet sensation. It was made to convey the way that Mayer felt, which was not long after Mac Miller passed, and I'm sure was a reason/influence for this song coming to be. By being open and sharing his insides, sharing his feelings, Mayer has created a piece of art; one that is relatable, beautiful, and heart-wrenching to listen to. This is Mayer at his best - just him, his guitar, and his talent as a wordsmith and poet. Easily my favorite song by him in a long time. So much respect for him, as both a musician, and as a human being.
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